Opportunity to Take
I just won an awesome opportunity for the first 10 pages to be critiqued by an agent. Agents are the best at telling you why your work isn't submission ready. And this critique was no exception.
First, he told me my work was charming. Forgive me for not drooling over every word of compliment, but I'm oozing right now.
Then he told me my writing is rushed. He's right. I've been told this before, and obviously I haven't yet found that balance I need between building the scene and moving it forward.
The next suggestion he made was to "think bigger." To explain this, I have to tell you that in the first paragraph a volleyball disintegrates in Honey's hands. I want people to be confused, and Honey to be scared. And I keep asking myself, what would people in the real world - no magic - if a volleyball suddenly disintegrated into one of the player's face (namely Honey's BFF Kelly).
Now, I'm guessing people would jump to the conclusion that there was a bomb in there, especially when Kelly screams, "A Bomb!"
but some of my critique partners, as well as this agent, say that's not believable. OK, then, what is?
I write about, with, for, and around kids all day. (Well, maybe I do the dishes too. Sometimes.)