I've written a lot of opinionated blog posts, so today I wanted to post something completely uncontroversial.
What's the most uncontroversial thing I can think of?
I pronounce it po-tah-to.
OK #1, who are you? and #2 who cares how it's pronounced?
I'm your devil's advocate. And I care. So there.
Well, you can take the day off. I'm writing a very uncontroversial post about the potato.
You're pronouncing it wrong.
No, I'm not. There's more than one way to pronounce 'potato.'
Yeah, but your way is weird.
Whatever. Potatoes come in many shapes and sizes, but my favorites are the lovely brown-skinned ones, the lumpy elliptical spheres about the size of my fist.
I like the small red ones better.
OK, fine. It doesn't matter.
Potatoes are very versatile. You can eat them boiled, scalloped, mashed, baked, barbecued, roasted, and deep fried. You'll find them in stews, hash browns, tator tots, casseroles or complementing your dinner entrée. There are potato chips, potato flakes, potato pearls – even potato starch! Enjoy them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Some people are allergic.
True, but what does that have to do with it?
They can't have any of those things! What good are potatoes to them?
And besides, potatoes are nothing but dumb vegetables. Just tubers. Certainly not worth your time to write a blog post about them.
Did you just insult the potato?
Yes, yes I did.
Poor potatoes. It's a wonder they even surface at all to be our Thanksgiving staple. Just the thought of enduring all that abuse and negative press must make their eyes sore.
Potatoes are boring.
Oh, I beg to differ. And so does Michael Ian Black and Debbie Ridpath Ohi.
(They wrote a totally non-boring book about how potatoes are not as boring as children)
Ha! You've disagreed with me on every point! That means potatoes are not uncontroversial.
Oh, I give up. I guess I'll just have an opinion on everything.
My work here is done.
Now that my devil's advocate has gone, what do you think about potatoes? Let me know in the comments!
I write about, with, for, and around kids all day. (Well, maybe I do the dishes too. Sometimes.)